When Love Costs

There are affections in our lives that we love and dearly hold onto. Often time, these affections hold no similar appeal to those around us. If they were to look into our hearts, they would not understand why we get such joy and pleasure from these momentary delights. Yet, these delights drive and thrill us. Our enjoyment of them is so intense that we find them coming to the forefront of our minds more often then we would like to admit (and always at the strangest times!). We find ourselves adjusting our schedules around them. Even becoming disillusioned if not angry when we don’t have time for them.

More often than not, these affections are false loves, hidden parts of the soul that no one else knows about until they suddenly coming rumbling to the surface in an angry, accusatory mix. False loves do not sustain you; there is no lasting peace found in them. The momentary delight fades when confronted with the cool, harsh realities of life. We find ourselves unable to enjoy them in the context of community because they are selfish, inward things. We find them filling our thoughts and time and driving us from others.

Love is a costly thing. When I was a child, I read a story of a young forest princess who stole a dragon egg because of its beautiful colors. She hid it in a tree and when the beautiful baby dragon was born she daily cared for it and fed it. Until one day, it had grown so big she could not longer control it, and it turned against her almost destroying her life. In the same way, we watch false loves grow in our lives denying their power over us. Then suddenly, they rear their ugly heads surprising those around us and destroying everything in their path.

To rid ourselves of these loves comes at a great personal cost. It is not easy to let go of something that holds such sway over the seat of our affections. We find ourselves cringing at the thought of it. Can I really enjoy myself without this relationship, that job, the show, the book, the sport, the drink, the drug, the game, the idle wandering of our minds?

But when we do give them up pushing through the pain and tears of losing it, we find for the first time a strange liberating feeling pumping through our hearts. We find freedom to be a better master then false love, and we find true joy comes after mourning.

Esther 9:22